Post by Kurtpikachu2001 on Feb 6, 2023 16:29:43 GMT
Set in season 4 in an AU. Charles Lovely invites everyone in Paradise excluding the PD to a swanky dinner party. Trying to figure out a way to get in the party, The Paradise PD get some insects and mice to invade the party so they pretend to be exterminators. Meanwhile, Fitz and Brett DeMarco are challenged by Rick and Morty in drag racing.
Paradise PD and Rick and Morty
Fanfic Title:
Pest Cop Wins!
Before we begin, this will be as I've said in the synopsis a season 4 Paradise PD fanfic. Lovely Corp is around. However, Fitz is still the Kingpin, and the Paradise PD are still cops. Also, I want to add that in this one, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson are on Lovely Corp's side and not Elon Musk and Mike Lindell.
Shall we begin? Let's.
Scene 1:
An announcement comes onto all the televisions, computers, laptops, iphones, Kindles all around the town of Paradise. An old looking man is shown on the screens. It was Charles Lovely the leader of the corporate company Lovely Corp.
Charles Lovely: Attention citizens of Paradise! This is Charles Lovelyyyyyyyy....
The message goes blank for a while then comes back.
Charles Lovely: Thank you, Jeff Bezos for backing me up there. Anyway. As I was saying, everyone in Paradise is invited to a Formal Party in my honor. Who will be there. Some famous social media icons. Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, and Mark Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair!
Charles Lovely: Not now, Mark! However there will be some who won't be allowed to attend and that is the Paradise PD Police Department. Everybody else in town is invited! Come one come all! Even you guys, Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie (watching TV): How did he know our names?
Delbert: So what? Who cares! We're going to a rich people's party!
In Lovely Corp, Charles Lovely was getting done having his video message recorded.
Richard Branson: Excellent job!
Jeff Bezos: This plan you have is brilliant!
Charles Lovely: I know! Inviting townspeople to a swanky party so I can brainwash them into working for me!
Jeff Bezos: No wonder you wanted the Paradise PD to stay out.
Charles Lovely: Oh they will. If they know what..
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair! Higher Hair! Higher Hair!
Richard Branson: Shut up with this fucking higher hair!
Charles Lovely: Oh please excuse him. That's the only thing he can say. Do we have everything ready for the party:
Jeff Bezos: Yes we do!
Leading Charles Lovely into the interior room of Lovely Corp, before them was a room filled with a turkey dinner on a golden table, cake, candles, a piano, a bowl of punch, and chandliers on the ceiling.
Jeff Bezos: Won't you take a look at this place!
Richard Branson: It's almost like Liberace did the decorations.
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair! Higher Hair! Higher Hair!
Charles Lovely: This is going to be like a real life verison of The Invitation!
Scene 2:
The Paradise PD has just got done listening to the message Charles Lovely that was sent all over the town. Randall had Kevin, Gina, Dusty, Bullet, and Stanley standing outside the Lovely Corp building.
Randall: They have some nerve not to let us in!
Kevin: Why should we anyway? It's best not to get involved sometimes.
Randall: Didn't you pay attention to the video, Kevin? I didn't trust that Charles Lovely asshole!
Dusty: I didn't either! He could be planning something sinister!
Bullet: For once Dusty is using his brains. I've always thought of him as a fat Charly.
Stanley: You must be talking about Cliff Robertson! He had the best drug orgies in Hollywood!
Gina: If we're not invited to this party. What should we do to get involved?
Randall: Guess we will have to disguise ourselves.
Kevin: Good call, Dad. But as what?
Dusty: I got it!
Bullet: You must be on a luck streak here, Dusty!
Gina: What do you have in mind, handsome?
Dusty: Let's pretend we're pest exterminators!
Kevin: That could work!
Bullet: I think Dusty is onto something! Don't have have pest exterminator costumes from last Halloween.
Randall: Yes we do. Unfortunately all the coveralls say "ACME PEST CONTROL" on them!
Gina: You're right. Nobody will want to hire us or take us seriously with shit like that on our clothes.
Randall: Unless we turn them inside out and we can call ourselves The Paradise Pest Dudes!
Gina: Paradise Pest Dudes! I like that!
Kevin: Oh, we're going to need some mice too!
Bullet: Awesome! I've been collecting mice on the streets so I can train them to do tricks. When they see a mouse in their party, they'll have no choice but to hire us!
Randall: Yes! We'll also put in moths, ants, and other insects too!
Going back to their police cars, the Paradise PD get the coveralls Dusty mentioned and turned them inside out. Now Randall, Gina, Dusty, Kevin, Bullet, and Stanley looked like actual pest control employees.
Dusty: So, what do you say? Do we all look like pest exterminators?
Stanley: I killed roaches for Rossano Brazzi in The Light In The Piazza!
Bullet had a box of mice in his hands. Bullet lets go of the other mice and just keeps one. Dusty had a bag of cats.
Randall: What are those cats for? I thought you were banned for life from owning a cat.
Dusty: Only as a last resort if the mice get out of control.
Kevin: Where did you get the cats?
Dusty: In a place where nobody knows me! Diamond City Humane Society!
Bullet: I shall send my best mouse in there! I raised it from birth!
Gina: Shall we do this?
Bullet sends a mouse through a door slot. Then almost the whole town in Paradise enters the Lovely Corp building for the party. Everyone from Camaro Bob, Karen, Anton, Robbie, Delbert, Hobo Cop, Preacher Paul, Chick Ridley, and Dr. Funtlichter. Also showing up is Dusty's father Strawberry Marlowe and the members of the Strawberry Action Squad. Who's members were Leprechaun Made From Rocks, Lt. Fiskers, Johnny Pecs, Wilbur The Karate Wizard, Lenny The Laser Wizard, Kung Fu Kangaroo, Giant Talking Squid, Robot, and Charles Bronson's ghost.
Scene 3:
In a seedy part of town, inside a motel room threes stories high. Fitz and Brett DeMarco were meeting with Sam Brinton. Fitz had a suitcase.
Sam Brinton: Did you get me what I asked for?
Fitz: It's in this suitcase. (hands the suitcase over)
Brett DeMarco: Open it and see for yourself.
Sam Brinton was opening the suitcase Fitz and Brett DeMarco gave to him, and when Sam Brinton looked inside he screamed.
Fitz: Is there a problem?
San Brinton: What the fuck is all this? It looks like broken pieces of women's jewelry.
Brett DeMarco: It's argyle and houndstooth meth.
Sam Brinton: This isn't what I asked for!
Fitz: That's what we assumed you wanted.
Brett DeMarco: Exactly. We give it to all our costumers!
Sam Brinton: I clearly asked you fuckasses to go to the Harry Reid International Airport then to the Minneapolis St Paul Airport and get me some luggage with women's clothing!
Fitz: Okay! Calm the fuck down! We thought you wanted drugs okay? That's what we're used to giving our clients.
Brett DeMarco: You really think we'd go all over the country and back just to get you luggage of women's clothes?!
Fitz: We don't operate that way.
Sam Brinton: Do you at least have the Pup equipment?
Fitz: Bum Equipment? You mean those stupid shirts teenagers wore in the early 90s?
Sam Brinton: NO! NOT BUM! PUP! PUP! PUP! (jumps and yells)
Brett DeMarco: What the fuck is "PUP"!
Sam Brinton looks though the luggage some more and pulls out a gun.
Outside the motel room, a grandfather who resembled a mad scientist and his grandson were inside what looked like a flying saucer. Their names were Rick Sanchez and Morty Smith.
Sam Brinton: YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME MY PUP EQUIPMENT YOU BASTARDS!
Morty: Hey, Grandpa! What are we doing here. I thought we were going on a space adventure.
Rick: We will soon Morty. Right now I got a crooked business deal to do with Sam Brinton.
Sam Brinton was now chasing Fitz and Brett DeMarco who jumped out of a window in the motel room shooting at them.
Rick: GET DOWN, MORTY! GUNFIRE!
Morty: YYEESSSHHH!
When Fitz and Brett DeMarco jumped out of the window, they unknowingly landed on Rick Sanchez's flying saucer. The outer shell got cracked. Which left Rick very angry.
Rick: Those sons of bitches! They broke our flying saucer.
Morty: Who were they?
Sam Brinton: You guys got my luggage and pup equipment?
Rick (hands Sam Brinton a luggage): Yeah yeah yeah. Here! Knock yourself out!
Sam Brinton: YAY! I KNEW I CAN COUNT ON YOU!
Rick: We can still fly.
Morty: The outer shell is cracked. Won't the wind get in?
Rick: It'll be slower but I got a plan!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco ran far from the motel and were now in an alley. Rick and Morty were flying over Fitz and Brett DeMarco.
Morty: We going to get those guys?
Rick: Oh yes we will! Now is not the right time.
Fitz: Damn! That was too close.
Brett DeMarco: Yeah, remind me never to make a deal with anyone from Joe Biden's cabinet.
Walking down the street back to Dippin' Dots, Fitz and Brett DeMarco have a conversation. Rick and Morty were spying on them.
Fitz: I've been getting fucking sick of doing the same thing over and over.
Brett DeMarco: We have done different things before in the past.
Fitz: That much is true. What I am trying to say is, we must do something that we have never done before.
Brett DeMarco: You'll probably want me to come up with an idea.
Fitz: Didn't you see what happened back there. We escaped on foot from that mother fucker! He was going to shoot us you know! We need to learn how to make better getaways.
Brett DeMarco: I know! Wish we could've brought our limo. Damn! I'm so fucking stupid.
Down the street, Fitz and Brett DeMarco hear some motorcycles miles away.
Fitz: That's it!
Brett DeMarco: That's what?
Fitz: We will take up drag racing!
Brett DeMarco: Awesome! It'll be like fucking Need For Speed!
Fitz: I'll have Frank, Pedro, Marcos, and Russian Mobster soup up our limo!
Brett DeMarco: We'll practice by racing against those street thugs!
Fitz: We will begin tomorrow night! And no need to practice!
Rick: So those jokers want to go drag racing, hey?
Morty: Maybe we can call Safelite fist? (looks at the cracked shell)
Paradise PD and Rick and Morty
Fanfic Title:
Pest Cop Wins!
Before we begin, this will be as I've said in the synopsis a season 4 Paradise PD fanfic. Lovely Corp is around. However, Fitz is still the Kingpin, and the Paradise PD are still cops. Also, I want to add that in this one, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson are on Lovely Corp's side and not Elon Musk and Mike Lindell.
Shall we begin? Let's.
Scene 1:
An announcement comes onto all the televisions, computers, laptops, iphones, Kindles all around the town of Paradise. An old looking man is shown on the screens. It was Charles Lovely the leader of the corporate company Lovely Corp.
Charles Lovely: Attention citizens of Paradise! This is Charles Lovelyyyyyyyy....
The message goes blank for a while then comes back.
Charles Lovely: Thank you, Jeff Bezos for backing me up there. Anyway. As I was saying, everyone in Paradise is invited to a Formal Party in my honor. Who will be there. Some famous social media icons. Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, and Mark Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair!
Charles Lovely: Not now, Mark! However there will be some who won't be allowed to attend and that is the Paradise PD Police Department. Everybody else in town is invited! Come one come all! Even you guys, Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie (watching TV): How did he know our names?
Delbert: So what? Who cares! We're going to a rich people's party!
In Lovely Corp, Charles Lovely was getting done having his video message recorded.
Richard Branson: Excellent job!
Jeff Bezos: This plan you have is brilliant!
Charles Lovely: I know! Inviting townspeople to a swanky party so I can brainwash them into working for me!
Jeff Bezos: No wonder you wanted the Paradise PD to stay out.
Charles Lovely: Oh they will. If they know what..
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair! Higher Hair! Higher Hair!
Richard Branson: Shut up with this fucking higher hair!
Charles Lovely: Oh please excuse him. That's the only thing he can say. Do we have everything ready for the party:
Jeff Bezos: Yes we do!
Leading Charles Lovely into the interior room of Lovely Corp, before them was a room filled with a turkey dinner on a golden table, cake, candles, a piano, a bowl of punch, and chandliers on the ceiling.
Jeff Bezos: Won't you take a look at this place!
Richard Branson: It's almost like Liberace did the decorations.
Mark Zuckerberg: Higher Hair! Higher Hair! Higher Hair!
Charles Lovely: This is going to be like a real life verison of The Invitation!
Scene 2:
The Paradise PD has just got done listening to the message Charles Lovely that was sent all over the town. Randall had Kevin, Gina, Dusty, Bullet, and Stanley standing outside the Lovely Corp building.
Randall: They have some nerve not to let us in!
Kevin: Why should we anyway? It's best not to get involved sometimes.
Randall: Didn't you pay attention to the video, Kevin? I didn't trust that Charles Lovely asshole!
Dusty: I didn't either! He could be planning something sinister!
Bullet: For once Dusty is using his brains. I've always thought of him as a fat Charly.
Stanley: You must be talking about Cliff Robertson! He had the best drug orgies in Hollywood!
Gina: If we're not invited to this party. What should we do to get involved?
Randall: Guess we will have to disguise ourselves.
Kevin: Good call, Dad. But as what?
Dusty: I got it!
Bullet: You must be on a luck streak here, Dusty!
Gina: What do you have in mind, handsome?
Dusty: Let's pretend we're pest exterminators!
Kevin: That could work!
Bullet: I think Dusty is onto something! Don't have have pest exterminator costumes from last Halloween.
Randall: Yes we do. Unfortunately all the coveralls say "ACME PEST CONTROL" on them!
Gina: You're right. Nobody will want to hire us or take us seriously with shit like that on our clothes.
Randall: Unless we turn them inside out and we can call ourselves The Paradise Pest Dudes!
Gina: Paradise Pest Dudes! I like that!
Kevin: Oh, we're going to need some mice too!
Bullet: Awesome! I've been collecting mice on the streets so I can train them to do tricks. When they see a mouse in their party, they'll have no choice but to hire us!
Randall: Yes! We'll also put in moths, ants, and other insects too!
Going back to their police cars, the Paradise PD get the coveralls Dusty mentioned and turned them inside out. Now Randall, Gina, Dusty, Kevin, Bullet, and Stanley looked like actual pest control employees.
Dusty: So, what do you say? Do we all look like pest exterminators?
Stanley: I killed roaches for Rossano Brazzi in The Light In The Piazza!
Bullet had a box of mice in his hands. Bullet lets go of the other mice and just keeps one. Dusty had a bag of cats.
Randall: What are those cats for? I thought you were banned for life from owning a cat.
Dusty: Only as a last resort if the mice get out of control.
Kevin: Where did you get the cats?
Dusty: In a place where nobody knows me! Diamond City Humane Society!
Bullet: I shall send my best mouse in there! I raised it from birth!
Gina: Shall we do this?
Bullet sends a mouse through a door slot. Then almost the whole town in Paradise enters the Lovely Corp building for the party. Everyone from Camaro Bob, Karen, Anton, Robbie, Delbert, Hobo Cop, Preacher Paul, Chick Ridley, and Dr. Funtlichter. Also showing up is Dusty's father Strawberry Marlowe and the members of the Strawberry Action Squad. Who's members were Leprechaun Made From Rocks, Lt. Fiskers, Johnny Pecs, Wilbur The Karate Wizard, Lenny The Laser Wizard, Kung Fu Kangaroo, Giant Talking Squid, Robot, and Charles Bronson's ghost.
Scene 3:
In a seedy part of town, inside a motel room threes stories high. Fitz and Brett DeMarco were meeting with Sam Brinton. Fitz had a suitcase.
Sam Brinton: Did you get me what I asked for?
Fitz: It's in this suitcase. (hands the suitcase over)
Brett DeMarco: Open it and see for yourself.
Sam Brinton was opening the suitcase Fitz and Brett DeMarco gave to him, and when Sam Brinton looked inside he screamed.
Fitz: Is there a problem?
San Brinton: What the fuck is all this? It looks like broken pieces of women's jewelry.
Brett DeMarco: It's argyle and houndstooth meth.
Sam Brinton: This isn't what I asked for!
Fitz: That's what we assumed you wanted.
Brett DeMarco: Exactly. We give it to all our costumers!
Sam Brinton: I clearly asked you fuckasses to go to the Harry Reid International Airport then to the Minneapolis St Paul Airport and get me some luggage with women's clothing!
Fitz: Okay! Calm the fuck down! We thought you wanted drugs okay? That's what we're used to giving our clients.
Brett DeMarco: You really think we'd go all over the country and back just to get you luggage of women's clothes?!
Fitz: We don't operate that way.
Sam Brinton: Do you at least have the Pup equipment?
Fitz: Bum Equipment? You mean those stupid shirts teenagers wore in the early 90s?
Sam Brinton: NO! NOT BUM! PUP! PUP! PUP! (jumps and yells)
Brett DeMarco: What the fuck is "PUP"!
Sam Brinton looks though the luggage some more and pulls out a gun.
Outside the motel room, a grandfather who resembled a mad scientist and his grandson were inside what looked like a flying saucer. Their names were Rick Sanchez and Morty Smith.
Sam Brinton: YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME MY PUP EQUIPMENT YOU BASTARDS!
Morty: Hey, Grandpa! What are we doing here. I thought we were going on a space adventure.
Rick: We will soon Morty. Right now I got a crooked business deal to do with Sam Brinton.
Sam Brinton was now chasing Fitz and Brett DeMarco who jumped out of a window in the motel room shooting at them.
Rick: GET DOWN, MORTY! GUNFIRE!
Morty: YYEESSSHHH!
When Fitz and Brett DeMarco jumped out of the window, they unknowingly landed on Rick Sanchez's flying saucer. The outer shell got cracked. Which left Rick very angry.
Rick: Those sons of bitches! They broke our flying saucer.
Morty: Who were they?
Sam Brinton: You guys got my luggage and pup equipment?
Rick (hands Sam Brinton a luggage): Yeah yeah yeah. Here! Knock yourself out!
Sam Brinton: YAY! I KNEW I CAN COUNT ON YOU!
Rick: We can still fly.
Morty: The outer shell is cracked. Won't the wind get in?
Rick: It'll be slower but I got a plan!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco ran far from the motel and were now in an alley. Rick and Morty were flying over Fitz and Brett DeMarco.
Morty: We going to get those guys?
Rick: Oh yes we will! Now is not the right time.
Fitz: Damn! That was too close.
Brett DeMarco: Yeah, remind me never to make a deal with anyone from Joe Biden's cabinet.
Walking down the street back to Dippin' Dots, Fitz and Brett DeMarco have a conversation. Rick and Morty were spying on them.
Fitz: I've been getting fucking sick of doing the same thing over and over.
Brett DeMarco: We have done different things before in the past.
Fitz: That much is true. What I am trying to say is, we must do something that we have never done before.
Brett DeMarco: You'll probably want me to come up with an idea.
Fitz: Didn't you see what happened back there. We escaped on foot from that mother fucker! He was going to shoot us you know! We need to learn how to make better getaways.
Brett DeMarco: I know! Wish we could've brought our limo. Damn! I'm so fucking stupid.
Down the street, Fitz and Brett DeMarco hear some motorcycles miles away.
Fitz: That's it!
Brett DeMarco: That's what?
Fitz: We will take up drag racing!
Brett DeMarco: Awesome! It'll be like fucking Need For Speed!
Fitz: I'll have Frank, Pedro, Marcos, and Russian Mobster soup up our limo!
Brett DeMarco: We'll practice by racing against those street thugs!
Fitz: We will begin tomorrow night! And no need to practice!
Rick: So those jokers want to go drag racing, hey?
Morty: Maybe we can call Safelite fist? (looks at the cracked shell)