Post by hyperrealm on Jun 5, 2017 20:49:46 GMT
This is a topic where you can create your own Family Guy comedy scene. Go ahead and present them and allow others to read them, rate them, and comment on them. I will begin with 5 scenes that I have created. You are free to rate my own level of comedy skill and the degree of humorous quality that these scenes have. Therefore, I will start with the first scene:
Scene #1: Peter is performing urethral surgery on a patient. But he decides to make things quick and easier by cutting off the patient's penis entirely since it was a short cut to this extensive procedure as well as being a decision driven by Quagmire's movie titled "The Little Penis Who Lost His Way" which is a movie that depicts a scene of a humanoid penis that has detached its purpose of being merely a urinating vessel and has become its own master in womanizing, scoring women, partying, sex, having riches and wealth, etc. The scene ends and Peter says:
"This patient's penis is in a much better place now."
The patient then wakes up later screaming in pain and agony. Peter then replies to the patient:
"Your former penis just got up and left you! Can you believe that? He ditched you for his own personal satisfaction! What a little son of a bitch! But I will give you a much better and bigger penis. Sir, here is a piece of paper and pen. Write down my name on the image of the penis on this paper. My name is "Peter" which is half a penis. You have the "p" and the "e," but you don't have the "n," the "i," and the "s." But make sure you write my name real big because, the bigger the name, the bigger and better the penis."
The patient frantically writes down Peter's name in big letters. However, he does a very sloppy job. Peter then replies:
"No, don't do it that way. Otherwise, your penis won't work and will look all messed up. Like that day Quagmire had a power outage."
The scene then shows Quagmire masturbating to porn that he is watching on tv. He experiences a power outage. Not only does his tv experience the power outage, but his penis experiences a power outage of its own. His penis becomes all withered, messed up, and deformed. Rather then acknowledging the fact that his power has shut down, he instead says in a frustrated tone of voice:
"Damn it! My penis shut down!"
The scene switches back over to Peter and the patient where Peter guides the patient into writing big and fully eligible letters. He says to the patient:
"I will help you create the best penis you could ever have. You don't need any physical penis attached. Why need an actual physical one when I've already donated you the best one? You have two surgical options here, sir. One of them could save your life and have you walking home a better man than you ever thought possible. Would you prefer this photo of me chugging down hot dogs at an eating contest which, by the way, aren't real penises because they tasted awful and I vomited them all up? Or, would you prefer a real man's penis with the name "Peter" on it?"
The patient is speechless since he is in the process of dying. However, Peter makes the decision for him and hands him the paper with Peter's name written on it.
"My name is the greatest half penis a man could ever have! You, sir, have made a very wise investment towards a top of the class surgery and you will thank me for saving your life. But don't worry, the rest will grow back later since my name isn't any normal half penis--my name has an Irish flavor to it since I was brought up by an Irish dad which makes this is a magical Irish half penis that will magically grow into a full penis for you."
The patient then dies and Peter responds:
"That spoiled bitch! The penis just wasn't big enough for him. Ungrateful bastard. I probably should have just given him the photo."
Scene #2: Peter has constipation. He can't pass the stool and, therefore, points a gun to himself in an attempt to literally scare the shit out of him. He tells the "little bastards" to leave. But the shit isn't listening to him. This causes Peter to become suicidal since he cannot take it anymore. He fires the gun and ends up in the doctor's. The doctor tells him that there was a better solution to all of this and presents some laxatives to Peter.
Scene #3: An angry and violent wife comes storming into her best friend's house. She knocks on her door and she replies:
"Who is it?"
The angry wife responds:
"You know who it is. I've seen you cheat on my husband."
From there, the discussion continues between them back and forth with a continuous and violent exchange of "whos" as they make statements such as "Who do you think you are," "Who is going to save you when I knock you upside your ass," etc. Peter then arrives to the scene in an animal control getup and says to both of them:
"Yeah, I've heard the neighbors call in and complain about crazy and violent owls during the night keeping them up."
Scene #4: Meg receives a clever pick up line from an attractive guy. He says to her:
"What is Meg spelled backwards? It's gem. Meg, you are such a beautiful gem!"
Scene #5: It is a hot summer season and Peter is very hot. There is no air condition. So, he turns the heater on instead. Peter starts to really sweat and says in a frantic tone of voice:
"It's starting to get really hot in here, Louis! I think I am going to die!"
Louis replies:
"Are you fucking stupid! You are going to give yourself a heat stroke!"
Peter responds:
"I have to turn this up higher! It is not getting any colder in here!"
Louis yells:
"TURN IF OFF NOW!!!"
Peter responds:
"I can't, Louis! We don't have air conditioner! This is the only thing we have! Maybe if I turn it up a bit higher, we will all be enjoying a frosty, winter wonderland!"
Louis yells:
"I THINK THIS SUMMER HEAT HAS REALLY GOTTEN TO YOUR HEAD!!!"
Peter turns the heat up to max and burns the house down. After which, a delivery man comes by and delivers the package Peter ordered which was the air conditioner.
Scene #1: Peter is performing urethral surgery on a patient. But he decides to make things quick and easier by cutting off the patient's penis entirely since it was a short cut to this extensive procedure as well as being a decision driven by Quagmire's movie titled "The Little Penis Who Lost His Way" which is a movie that depicts a scene of a humanoid penis that has detached its purpose of being merely a urinating vessel and has become its own master in womanizing, scoring women, partying, sex, having riches and wealth, etc. The scene ends and Peter says:
"This patient's penis is in a much better place now."
The patient then wakes up later screaming in pain and agony. Peter then replies to the patient:
"Your former penis just got up and left you! Can you believe that? He ditched you for his own personal satisfaction! What a little son of a bitch! But I will give you a much better and bigger penis. Sir, here is a piece of paper and pen. Write down my name on the image of the penis on this paper. My name is "Peter" which is half a penis. You have the "p" and the "e," but you don't have the "n," the "i," and the "s." But make sure you write my name real big because, the bigger the name, the bigger and better the penis."
The patient frantically writes down Peter's name in big letters. However, he does a very sloppy job. Peter then replies:
"No, don't do it that way. Otherwise, your penis won't work and will look all messed up. Like that day Quagmire had a power outage."
The scene then shows Quagmire masturbating to porn that he is watching on tv. He experiences a power outage. Not only does his tv experience the power outage, but his penis experiences a power outage of its own. His penis becomes all withered, messed up, and deformed. Rather then acknowledging the fact that his power has shut down, he instead says in a frustrated tone of voice:
"Damn it! My penis shut down!"
The scene switches back over to Peter and the patient where Peter guides the patient into writing big and fully eligible letters. He says to the patient:
"I will help you create the best penis you could ever have. You don't need any physical penis attached. Why need an actual physical one when I've already donated you the best one? You have two surgical options here, sir. One of them could save your life and have you walking home a better man than you ever thought possible. Would you prefer this photo of me chugging down hot dogs at an eating contest which, by the way, aren't real penises because they tasted awful and I vomited them all up? Or, would you prefer a real man's penis with the name "Peter" on it?"
The patient is speechless since he is in the process of dying. However, Peter makes the decision for him and hands him the paper with Peter's name written on it.
"My name is the greatest half penis a man could ever have! You, sir, have made a very wise investment towards a top of the class surgery and you will thank me for saving your life. But don't worry, the rest will grow back later since my name isn't any normal half penis--my name has an Irish flavor to it since I was brought up by an Irish dad which makes this is a magical Irish half penis that will magically grow into a full penis for you."
The patient then dies and Peter responds:
"That spoiled bitch! The penis just wasn't big enough for him. Ungrateful bastard. I probably should have just given him the photo."
Scene #2: Peter has constipation. He can't pass the stool and, therefore, points a gun to himself in an attempt to literally scare the shit out of him. He tells the "little bastards" to leave. But the shit isn't listening to him. This causes Peter to become suicidal since he cannot take it anymore. He fires the gun and ends up in the doctor's. The doctor tells him that there was a better solution to all of this and presents some laxatives to Peter.
Scene #3: An angry and violent wife comes storming into her best friend's house. She knocks on her door and she replies:
"Who is it?"
The angry wife responds:
"You know who it is. I've seen you cheat on my husband."
From there, the discussion continues between them back and forth with a continuous and violent exchange of "whos" as they make statements such as "Who do you think you are," "Who is going to save you when I knock you upside your ass," etc. Peter then arrives to the scene in an animal control getup and says to both of them:
"Yeah, I've heard the neighbors call in and complain about crazy and violent owls during the night keeping them up."
Scene #4: Meg receives a clever pick up line from an attractive guy. He says to her:
"What is Meg spelled backwards? It's gem. Meg, you are such a beautiful gem!"
Scene #5: It is a hot summer season and Peter is very hot. There is no air condition. So, he turns the heater on instead. Peter starts to really sweat and says in a frantic tone of voice:
"It's starting to get really hot in here, Louis! I think I am going to die!"
Louis replies:
"Are you fucking stupid! You are going to give yourself a heat stroke!"
Peter responds:
"I have to turn this up higher! It is not getting any colder in here!"
Louis yells:
"TURN IF OFF NOW!!!"
Peter responds:
"I can't, Louis! We don't have air conditioner! This is the only thing we have! Maybe if I turn it up a bit higher, we will all be enjoying a frosty, winter wonderland!"
Louis yells:
"I THINK THIS SUMMER HEAT HAS REALLY GOTTEN TO YOUR HEAD!!!"
Peter turns the heat up to max and burns the house down. After which, a delivery man comes by and delivers the package Peter ordered which was the air conditioner.